You Might Be A Moonbat

Disagreeing with me alone does not a moonbat make. Voting for Kerry or supporting Obama doesn’t make one a moonbat, though it is a warning sign. Any of us might vote for someone less than our ideal candidate. In fact most of us already do. I disagree with most of what our current government does, the way it does it, or doesn’t do* but I am not a moonbat. It can sometimes be difficult to know whether or not you are a moonbat, so with a nod of respect to that great rural philosopher Foxworthicus, I have compiled a helpful little self-test. I invite comment, perhaps we can expand it. I would like to keep these very clear-cut and avoid things that are gray areas such as voting for Kerry. There’s misguided, mistaken, then there’s full-out rabid raving moonbatness. Anyone, including myself, could easily be the first two, but we’re shooting for ways to clearly identify the last. I also wish to explain why each condition qualifies a person as a moonbat.

You Might Be A Moonbat

If you think Michael Moore is “courageous”, you might be a moonbat. You may think he’s truthful without being a moonbat, (see “misguided” and “mistaken”)
but if you think he’s taking some kind of risks that require courage, well…

If you classify George Bush as Right Wing, you might be a moonbat. He’s not. How can you tell? Because the border with Mexico is non-existent. The Right
Wing wants it walled, mined, and guarded by insane Rotweilers. That’s Right
Wing, Sunshine. GWB- not Right Wing.

If you believe Bush MIHOP or LIHOP, you might be a moonbat. If you even know what those acronyms mean you’re either a well-informed conservative or a gibbering moonbat. Check yourself in a mirror. If you see any drool and you haven’t been bitten by an animal in the past few months, you should be thinking “Moonbat”.

If you think the inaccurately-named War On Terror is all about oil, you might be a moonbat. Have you seen gas prices? And why go all the way over there for it? Mexico and Venezuela have scads of oil and are so much closer, are full of brown people just like Iraq, have militaries that could be taken out in a week by our average National Guard unit, and their governments are both annoying. If oil was all we wanted there are much easier targets.

If you think the current Supreme Court is Right Wing, you might be a moonbat. Or smoking something. Possibly both.

If you think “Bush stole the election” (either time), you might be a moonbat. You are certainly unable to read, comprehend the most clearly written laws, or count.

If you think that somehow a million legally registered Black voters were prevented from voting in Florida in 2000, produce 10 of them or be labeled “Moonbat”. If you repeat the myth knowing it’s not true, be called “liar”. Then explain why Bush won Florida in 2004 by three million votes. If your answer to that is “Haliburton!” or “Diebold!” or “Jeb!” guess what? That’s two strikes, Moonbat. One of the reasons he didn’t win by a similar margin in 2000 was Dan Rather’s calling it for Gore before the polls were closed. His claim to not know Florida had two time zones means he was either lying or incredibly ignorant for a “news” man. Given more recent events, which do you think it is? Rather has a pattern of trying to screw with elections when the Republican looks like he might win.

If you think all Conservatives are racist, you might be a moonbat. However, I must allow for different definitions of racism. So if you think anyone that doesn’t at least pretend to kiss Al Sharpton’s a$$ and quiver in fear at the mere accusation is a racist, mea culpa. Note this is a group that made a lot of noise about running a Black woman for president. How can we then be called racist? Oh, I forgot. She’s not really Black. Say that to her face, I dare you.

If you think America is out to build an empire, you might be a moonbat. If so we’ve done a pretty crappy job, what with letting Germany, Japan, Mexico, Grenada, Afghanistan, Panama, Cuba, Canada, Iraq, France and others all be sovereign nations when we either could or have already crushed them like bugs. Hegemony! I laugh every time I hear or read that word. Hegemony!

If you believe the opposition “has no voice anymore”, you might be a moonbat. You’re just so used to having the only voice that when your monopoly on information broke it shook the foundation on which Liberal La-La Land stands. Your power has always been based on having control of what the people see and read in the news. That’s ended, and it’s driving you nuts. Freedom of information is on our side, not yours. We’re coming after the universities next, Moonbat.

If you think all of our universities are controlled by Conservatives, you might be a moonbat. You might also be just plain stupid. Hard to tell.

If you think the Mainstream Media are the obedient propaganda-mongers of the Bush administration, you might be a moonbat, and you haven’t been paying attention.

If you think the Mainstream Media are terrified to speak the truth about the Bush administration in fear of repecussions, you might be a moonbat, but not for the reasons you think. If they ever spoke the truth about him their tongues would burn with fire.

If you think Bush has shredded the Constitution, you might be a moonbat. Thanks to the proceeding 40 years there wasn’t much left by the time he got to it.

If you think capitalism is an inherently unfair system, you’re actually right about that. But if you think Socialism is much more fair, you might be a moonbat. Or a Commie.

If you think Bush had the levies around New Orleans blown open to kill lots of Black people, you’re a moonbat. There’s no “might” on that one. Ditto if you think AIDS and crack cocaine were unleashed on poor Black people by evil Whites to kill them. And again if you’re a member of the Nation of Islam. Three strikes. Blacks are doing a pretty good job of destroying themselves. If it were anyone’s goal to see them powerless, ignorant, or dead no one else would have to do much.

If you responded in the affirmative to one of the conditions, you are a moonbat. Please burn your voter registration card and check yourself into the local Rubber Room Hotel.

The key to identifying the moonbat is in belief. Accepting things on faith is okay unless it leads to cyanide-laced drinking parties with your fellow believers. Accepting things that make no sense, defy logic, or that can be solidly proven false puts you in a dangerous mental place.

“But AWM!”, you say, “That sounds like you would consider most religious believers to be moonbats!” No. Stick with me here. Religion can make sense and follow logic, even if it’s not provable. But we are not talking about that type today, perhaps another time. The moonbat is a specific species of the unhinged that comes from Liberal La-La Land. There are plenty of religious believers that hit the same levels of, how shall I say, lack-of-sanity? I’ve known some. (Oddly, they are the moonbat’s most hated enemy. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.) Right-wing politics might be strongly influenced by religion, but left-wing politics is a religion, as rigid, intolerant, and immune to a rational argument as any other.

There are two kinds of Lefties to concern us: the liars that know they are lying, the spewers of propaganda, the forgers of Liberal Truth, and those that gleefully devour and regurgitate it. The first group are usually too aware, too savvy to be called moonbats. The latter are your core Barking Moonbats. Occasionally one from the first group starts believing their own side’s propaganda and crosses the line to join the Moonbat Brigade. It’s not worth the air needed to debate with them except for the amusement. They have one use: to force us to remain informed with truth, facts, well thought-out opinions and ever be able to counter their version of the world. This helps us better define and express what we are, and that is good.

Not all Liberals fall into the above mentioned two catagories. We can speak to, debate, even argue with those that don’t and profit from it. But the moonbat is beyond reason and it’s therefore best to identify them quickly to either avoid them or be prepared to deal them a righteous Cluebatting TM.

*It’s funny when political types interpret polls that state “dissatisfaction with the President’s policy on X” as “we just love the other party and want their policy instead.” Within that percentage some are of that opinion, but there is actually an uncounted group of people who think the President’s policy in question doesn’t go far enough. That group most certainly does not cheer for the opposition, yet it is often counted right along with those that do. Keep that in mind when you see such single-choice polls, no matter the party in power.